Pop Quiz

It's your first day at a new job. Do you:

a) lay low and suss out your colleagues to see what everyone is like before unleashing your full personality on the unsuspecting suckers them
b) or do you just wait an hour
c) snatch, and I mean snatch, stationery from your new colleague's desk without asking then fail to return said stationery after using it forcing your new colleague to ask for it back when they need it.
d) call your new colleagues "honey" or "darling" 1 hour after meeting them

Within the first week of your new job , what is not appropriate:

a) asking a question, not allowing the respondant to answer as you're talking all over them then crack the shits when you don't like the answer
b) do a) to the big boss and fail to notice his growing irritation and the steam coming out of his ears
c) snap at one of your new colleagues for trying to help you out, telling them that you're somewhat of an expert in that particular software package when they can see that you're obviously not and fucking it up.
d) borrow one of your new colleague's (a colleague who has germ/hygiene issues) pen at a meeting because you forgot yours and then proceed to chew and slobber all over it before returning it.

You work in a small quiet office with 3 other people, is it appropriate to:

a) fart, call your new colleague over for a smell and then run out of the office cackling
b) snap at your new colleagues, telling them that they're wrong and proceed to tell them at length why they're wrong when clearly you're wrong and just making an ass out of yourself.
c) sniff repeatedly and not use a tissue.

You're hired because the rest of the team is overloaded with work, do you:

a) constantly distract your new colleagues with inane chitchat when they're clearly trying to work
b) constantly distract your new colleagues by singing tunelessly to the music on your headphones (crappy country music)
c) constantly distract your new colleagues by talking to yourself providing your colleagues with a running commentry of what you're doing (not that they care and just wish you'd get on with it)

Answers:
all of the above

Say hello to Sniffy, the new girl in my office... sigh - it's going to be a long 4 and a half months... And trust me, you'll be hearing about it. A week and a half into her contract and she's already providing me with the above gems....