I love the smell of carrion in the morning...

The drought is really playing havoc with the local wildlife. Every morning there's a fresh dead roo on the way to work. They're coming further into town to get at the green grass. This morning's hit was pretty mushed and mangled. Nothing like the whiff of carrion in the morning to start your day off right.

It was Mae West who said "I'd rather be looked over than overlooked" and sister I hear ya. I used to be looked over a lot when I was thinner and it used to really bother me but now I feel like waving my arms in the air and yelling "over here!! I'm over here!!". I work with two very beautiful girls and I'm just invisible whenever I'm with them. This morning as I'm walking to the caf with one of them, we passed one of the team leaders that I work with every day walking towards us and she got a Good Morning and I didn't even rate a glance. That's happened to me a couple times over the last coupla weeks and I almost feel like I need to pinch myself to see if I'm really there or not. It's really starting to annoy me but I think I'm just impatient to get this fat suit off and release my inner hottie again.

I had a massage and adjustment with my natural therapist yesterday and apart from a whole bunch of knots in my shoulders and shoulder blades she says to me "You're leaking a lot of energy from the heart". Ain't that the truth.

You'll have to excuse me if I'm cranky today. I'm just so frustrated with everything and I feel like screaming. I want so much more in my life and I just have no idea how to put it in there. I've caught up with 2 people I haven't seen in years and have listened to the tales of what they've been up to and pathetically I have nothing to tell. I've worken up, gone to work, come home and gone to sleep. Lather rinse repeat. The only notable changes to this routine has been that I've renovated my kitchen and quit smoking but the quit smoking isn't something that I tell because not a lot of people know I smoked. And I'm not talking about cigarettes here. Wake up, go to work, come home go to bed. There's got to be more than this. Surely? I don't even know where to start, where to look or who to ask on how to put more into it so I get more out of it. Pathetic really. Cranky, cranky, cranky.