It's been a while

And unfortunately most of what I want to write about is this guy, you know the one I've mentioned before. Yep HIM. Wowsers he really blows me away. At the moment he's away and boy oh boy do I miss him. More than I thought I would. More than what is normal for unrequited love. I've honestly never come across someone like him, someone who affects me so drastically. My friends are calling me cute because I get all 13 on them when I talk about him. I get the serious body flushes with the red face and sweating whenever he comes to visit. I'd bore you with the details ala before he left he asked me what I wanted him to bring me back and that he'd remembered the last time we spoke and asked if I'd spoken to him since then because he had some interesting (to me) news he had to share.....

Anyhoo, just to recap, I'll be 35 next month, not 13....

But that's how this guy makes me feel. I just want to giggle insanely all the time. He makes me HAPPY just when I think about him and things that he's said to me. Sad, so seriously sad. But at the same time I'm REALLY liking this happy high. AND it's starting to freak people out

A LOT

and that's worth it too. Most people are used to me being morose and cloudy and I'm loving this high and how much I've realised how unhappy I have been for the past... however many years it's been. Yeah. Happy. I KNOW!

weird huh!!!! So anyway despite my best intentions I'm gushing a lil, I'm sorry about that. I really can't help myself. I just wanted to log in and say hi and look what happened.

I can't even bitch about work like usual because at the moment I don't want to leave because of him (and being able to see him all the time) and it's actually making work bearable and even... enjoyable!! yeah, I hope you're sitting down. I'm not sure if it's him or whether work has just calmed down to the point where I can catch my breath and actually feel like I can achieve something for once... I dunno but it's a joy every day that I get to see him and I get on a serious high after I do.

He should be home either tomorrow or Friday so you guessed it, I can't wait. I don't want to make this sickening so you'll excuse the non postage. It's just that I'd be gushing about this man and his perfection and how insanely beautiful he is and I don't want to make you barf.

Oh em gee happy day fuckery

Yep I kid you not I am on one serious high and have been for the last couple of weeks (which has also contributed to the non posting not that you've missed me...) But yes I am in love with my future husband. Mark my words my friends. I've found him and if I could work out the bloody italics on this thing it would be HIM. I told you about him before, the guy who blew my head off and lordy lordy he still continues to do so! He's EVERY thing I ever wanted and then some. I could gush for hours so don't get me started eh? I literally feel like I'm 13 again, haven't felt this way in a long LONG time and fuck it feels good!

I keep freaking people out with my intense good mood and I'm loving it! Not only that but I'm back on my plan and I've lost 7.5kgs in 2 months so happy about that too! I will get back to where I was and poor boy won't know what hit him. Good thing I can see the future. Can't wait! :)

Surely not?

Am I a... Cougar? One of my fave breakfast radio announcers was talking about Cougars and said today that a cougar is a 35 year old... Is that right?? I always thought that cougars were 45+...

And here I am thinking that I have a super immature teenage angsty brain because I've been totally sucked in by the twilight books and movie (better late than never eh?) not that I'll admit it to anyone in real life but you. I have watched the movie every night since I got it (about 20 times now) and polished off the 4 books in 6 days and am rereading them again because I read them too fast the first time because I wanted to know what the story was about. It's the intensity of emotion that draws me in to twilight, the absolute adoration. I've always said that I want the next guy (third time lucky one) to be a perfect mix of the last two - the emotional intensity of S and the physical intensity of C. I know how crap the movie is but I just can't help myself. I'm not sure if I want to see New Moon movie when it's out in Nov because the book made me howl because I know what that hole feels like. I might wait til it's out on dvd so I can watch it (and cry) in private.

And then there's True Blood, ooohh vampire Eric. Numnumnum...let's just say I have vampires on the brain. Can't wait for the next ep!

Yup yup

I know I haven't been here for a while (not that anyone is reading) but real life has been getting in the way. Things are shit hence the no posty. I wouldn't even know where to begin and it would only feel like bitching and moaning anyway. And that doesn't make for great reading.
Apart from all the usual bullshit I have vampires on the brain, between 30 days of night, True Blood and reading the Twilight series... Vampires

This = not good

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corrupt, you corrupt

woah am I in love with a man... He has completely blown me away like no man has since Benji so that would be complete obliteration for those uninitiated... Wowers this man has completely blown me away allow me to reiterate his good points...

In terms of my minimum check list:
smart: check, super smart as in wowsers super smart and I don't mean that lightly as in he's a Dr (non medico thank dog) and knows stuff about things.
funny: check, super funny and has made me laugh to the point of ow sore stomach
decent looking: oh damn straight, those eyes kill me and he looks so directly and intensely....
has traveled: check, definitely and still trying to work out his accent....

the optional but desirable:
a beautiful neck ala callan mulvey - check oh woah check... mmmmmm
nice hands - check, oh woah check....
and he's already got the piercing eyes... sorry I am trying to contain myself

bonus points: comes from Melbourne

dammit...

help...

Let me apologise to begin with...

bear with me here....

Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

[Chorus]
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

And things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]

Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

[Chorus]
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]

And I cannot explain to you
And anything I say or do or plan

Fear is not afraid of you
But guilt's a language you can understand

I cannot explain to you
And anything I say or do
I hope the actions speak the words they can

[Chorus]
For my pride and my promise
For my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is

Pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]


yesyes it's music once again but lemme just say that I like a boy.... I haven't liked a boy since Benji in what seems all those millennium ago. And really he's not a boy but a man. And a super smart and witty man at that. One that makes me laugh and has beautiful eyes. What more could you want in a man huh? I feel all giddy and want to make any excuse to talk to him. Naturally I've tried his last name on and it's a nice fit. yeah, I like this guy...

PS. I think I found a really cool job to go to as well.