I'm scared

No make that petrified. I'm trying to stay positive and not think about it but it's easier said than done. I'm really scared. I'm one of those people who hates going to the doctor. Apart from hating to wait for 45 minutes I just don't like being prodded and poked. So generally when I should go to a doctor I don't. I grin and bear it.

I'm having a chest xray tomorrow because I've got a pain in my right lung that has been there for a month or two or three. It could be something or it could be nothing. I mainly feel it in one specific spot when I breathe deep. Stoopid me googled lung pain and read about pleurisy, lung cancer (the most lethal of cancers yay) and lupus. I'm freaking out just a little and I know I shouldn't have read any of it as it's only making me think about it more. I'm staying positive really I am.

It started out because I've dedicated this to the year of ME. I need to be selfish and concentrate on me this year. I need to get serious and lose some weight. I need to treat my body as a temple and only put good food in it. I need to worship myself and go and have a massage or facial or something. I need to take care of the aches and pains and the lung pain was top of the list. I'm going to get my eyes checked next as I haven't had that done in about 8 years. I'm booked in to see a skin specialist next week for my yearly skin check [I have a gazillion freckles and in the Aussie sun it's not a good thing].

Did I mention that I'm scared. The silly thing is that when I started thinking of the possibility that I could die sooner than I thought and started thinking about what I want to do before I die the main thing that came into my head is sex. heheh yep I'm a sex fiend. Second to that is get married and have a child. I generally live my life like every day is my last so I don't have a lot of regrets or things that I haven't done and there's only really 1 thing that I want to resolve before I die and this little situation has spurred me on regardless of the diagnosis.

I need to find Georgina Garrett. I owe her $400. I don't know where she is and the only lead I have to start finding her is her dad's address in Brisbane from 12 years ago which she gave me as her contact address. 12 years ago, when I lived in London, I met Georgie at The Dover Castle hostel. She is a very sweet, funny girl and we became great friends and went travelling to Greece (to a little island called Paros) together. We lived there for 3 months and due to things I'm not proud of I owe her $400. I've never had the opportunity to pay her back and I hate owing people money and I want to say sorry for the way things ended up.

I'm going to start by writing to the address I have and see what happens. If nothing I'm going to ring every G.Garrett in Australia. If I can't find her that way... I dunno. There's nothing leading on the internet but then again I don't really know where to look.

Anyway I'll keep you posted on the search for Georgie and my Xray results. Please keep your fingers firmly crossed for me.