and now for the pointy end of the stick

While in Melbourne I had a total shift in thinking and I'm embarking on a new path. Well several new paths but I'll get to that. I know it's all the rage at the moment but my host Kip in Melbourne made me watch The Secret dvd. A lot of it I already knew but there were certain aspects that really clicked with me. So much so I made 5 pages worth of notes and had a 6 hour deep and meaningful with Kip about life, the universe and everything.

A couple of things have resulted from that whole thing. Most importantly is that I'm now on a new eating program and absolutely loving it. I'm doing the Cohens "diet". I sat down and tried to work out why I've failed in all of my past attempts to get rid of the excess weight and it's come down to a few things. Despite my best intentions I'm just lazy so rigorous excercise programs just don't cut it for me and like all diets and programs that I've been on in the past they've petered out over the first 3-4 weeks. I start all gung ho and then meh couldn't be bothered. I just can't stick to it on my own. I've tried working out with a buddy and having chats about food and stuff but ultimately one or both of us slide into decline.

This time someone is helping me. I have a 'personal consultant' who I have set goals with and have mandatory monthly weigh ins. There are two-monthly blood tests (done by an independant third party) to measure blood glucose, liver function etc. Actually my first blood test was pretty telling - I have impaired fasting glycemia which is on the road to developing diabetes. The normal range is between 3.4-5.4 and mine was 6.1. Not surprising really but very interesting and even more incentive to stick with it.

I've got a long way to go but I've been on this program for a week today and damn I feel good! I'm still waiting for the hard part to kick in. And already today, two people have asked me if I've lost weight and even though I may have lost a little (I haven't weighed myself) it's probably just my increased confidence coming through. I feel thinner. I feel excited by this diet and where I'll be at the end of it. The food isn't anything different from what I normally eat but there's very little dairy, no sugar and limited wheat. Other than that it's basically meat and veg and a bit of fruit. The main difference to my normal meal is portion size. Sure I get a little hungry but it's not going to kill me.

I think part of the reason that I feel that this is going to succeed is that I have someone that I'm accountable to. It's clear to me that I'm not accountable to myself. I'm not good at keeping promises to myself and I cannot stick to any sort of eating or exercise program by myself. I'm approaching this program with a positive attitude and a commitment to stick with it. Sure I'm not allowed to have some of the things I love but it's a short term pain for a long term loss. I can deal with that. And I've gotten myself organised. I've made backup plans, I'm planning ahead and I have an answer for everything and I'm sticking to it by the letter. And I don't have a problem with that because it's not hard.

The other reason I know I will succeed is because I've come to terms with the reasons behind putting on the fat suit. That's a whole other post as this one is already getting long but I think that acknowledging the reasons and dealing with the issues behind it is another step in the right direction and a step in keeping it off. That and once I get down to my goal weight I NEVER EVER want to be where I am today again. EVER.

The other conclusion that I came to on the weekend is that I like the program because I have control. Intense control over what I eat. Not that I never had control before but it was as if it was all unconscious with no thought to what I was putting in my mouth. Even on the weekend I've caught myself unconsciously about to eat something without realising it. I made my brother a gummy bear filled egg for easter and there were a few left over and as I was tidying the kitchen I had one of them half way up to my mouth before I realised what I was doing. Same with some left over munchies in the fridge, half a dozen times I caught myself zombieing to the fridge when I was bored about to go and snack. So all offending items have been removed from the house and it's business as usual.

Anyway I'm really happy about this and excited about the future. There's also been some major developments at work which mean good things for me so I'm excited about that. Now if only I can get my love life in order I'll have won the trifecta!

Life is good.