Dr Phil and Oprah say.....

Where else do you start on a quest for happiness and fulfillment but Oprah and Dr Phil. While I haven't explored the Dr Phil site fully I did have a squizz at the ole Oprah site and did one of a multitude of quizzes and got the below result:

THE "WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?" QUIZ RESULTS
You're repressing a considerable amount of emotion and information, and this affects your daily life in negative ways. You sometimes behave irresponsibly, or even destructively, at work and in relationships. You could benefit from reading psychology or self-help books that interest you, and therapy would be enormously helpful.

Great so I'm a fucking psycho now eh? Niiiice.

There were another couple of enlightening nuggets that I'll share with you next time because I've come to realise a few more things while reading all that self improvement stuff on Oprah. In the last rambling episode I listed the things that I already have in life and notably absent from that list was "good friends". I've lost a lot of friends because of that stoopid pot addiction I had (or as a result of quitting but that's not such a bad thing because they're friends I didn't need). But now I find myself two and a bit years sober and no one to share my life with. Neither friends or a love interest.

So it's quite possible that that is the hole. That I need to share my life or feel like I belong somewhere, be a part of something. Not that there's a whole bunch of exciting things to share at the moment but it would be nice to be able to ring a friend up and have a good bitch session or just talk about whats going on. I have friends I could ring up but unfortunately I'm a good and loyal listener and it seems that over the years I've trained my friends into talking about their problems and not listening to mine. I could start off with my problems but eventually it'll turn to a their problemfest with me sitting there thinking "anyway, back to me..." and wondering why I'm wasting my breath. I'm always there for people but now that I turn around and look for someone to be there for me I find no one.

It'd be nice to come home and have someone ask "how was your day" or hug me for 2 minutes and not say anything. Apart from all the other highs, lows and sexy parts that come with a relationship I think I just need to be in one. Does that make me one of those people who can't be alone? It's an odd thought to me considering that I've been on my own for so long but have been so unhappy while being alone. I'll have to ponder that a while longer and get back to you.

And quite frankly I'm bored. I'm bored with my job, bored with the lack of fun in my life, bored bored bored. I need to say yes more instead of no.

So to sum up my discoveries today, I need new friends, quality friends. I'm lonely and want a partner, I'm bored, need a new job and need some fun. Yay... so now I know all that how the hell do I tackle all that crap..... one step at a time eh?