Snippets

It's funny, I often think about blogging during the day while I'm at work but once I get home the words dry up. That's my weak attempt at an apology for the lack of postage lately. I haven't really had much to write about and I'm working crazy hours. Between now and the end of the financial year things are just going to get even more manic unfortunately. At the moment I just want to say fuck it all and walk away. I'm just a little more than fed up but I gots to pay the bills. I'm sick of being undermined by my own section and with all the chaos that's going on I don't know what is going to happen. Grin and bear it I guess.

Had my first official weigh in today and I've lost 8.7kgs and 35cm! Unreal result for 4 weeks. Can't wait for the rest of it to melt off! I've got my end goal in sight!

And unfortunately it's official, Benji is moving to Abu Dhabi. In fact he's leaving next week. He came to my office and had a chat to me for almost an hour and showed me where he's going to be living etc and I just wanted to tell him not to go or to take me with him. I've been moping around and feeling really down which is just dumb because he's not mine to mope about. If I wasn't such a chicken then maybe he would be and I'd be telling you that I'm off to Abu Dhabi but tis not so my friends. He's only going for a couple of years but I can't wait that long. I hope he gets there and hates it and comes back... yeah more wishful thinking. This sucks.

Don't you hate it when you KNOW you're being irrational but you can't help it? I'm annoyed because I got what I wanted. I wanted Roger to distance himself from me a little so the whole situation wouldn't be so hard. Lately he's stopped playing with me but now that he has I don't like it and in a way I feel insanely jealous about really stoopid petty things like when he comes round for a chat then says he's got to get back to work but stops in for a chat with Spam for half an hour or chats monosyllabically to me online for 5 mins then tells me he's gotta go but stays online for another hour. Instead of being happy like I should be it irritates the hell out of me. And I know I'm being a dork and can't talk myself around. Sometimes I really wonder who's in charge of me...

Anyway I'm just annoying myself now so I'll leave you with those happy thoughts har har.