Mr Right When You Need Him

Forgot to tell you bout one of the most awesome Christmas presents I've ever received, hell best present full stop.

Mr Right When You Need Him:



He's this little cardboard cutout with magnetic sayings which include:

• You look thin. Have you lost weight?
• As always, you're right.
• I could listen to you talk all night.
• May I take you shoe shopping?
• It's not your fault, it's mine.

And there are three blanks for you to inscribe your own sayings. The little booklet that comes with him is bloody hilarious! A few sections for your reading delight:

When exactly do you use Mr Right When You Need Him?

You'll find that once you welcome Mr Right When You Need Him into your life, you'll have a multitude of situations you'll be glad to have him on hand for:

• Shopping in badly lit bathing suit dressing rooms (with those sadistically magnified mirrors!)
• Enduring road raging traffic (just prop him up on the seat next to you and rant away!)
• Contemplating eating another slice of cherry cheesecake (oh hell, eating that whole cherry cheesecake!)
• Returning home for hight school reunions/family reunions (all kinds of angst-inducing reunions)

No matter where you may be going - someplace hoity-toity or merely to the linen closet - Mr Right When You need Him will be happy to be there by your side.

Signs of possible overuse:

Many of you right now may be wondering: Is it possible to overuse Mr Right When You Need Him?
The answer, my friends, is : Yes.
You'll know you've been spending too much time with Mr Right When You Need Him when you find yourself making out with him in restaurants. I understand there will be a part of you that will want to flaunt your love, but any overt displays of public affection with Mr Right When You Need Him should be curtailed immediately.

After all, he's just a doll - a D-O-L-L doll.



Pretty funny ;) but the section I love the most is the last one as there are little grains of truth in there...


Is it possible to find a real living, breathing Mr Right When you Need Him?

I believe there are real living, breathing - albeit oft times belching - Mr Right When You Need Hims out there to be found. And I believe, in time, you'll find one if you:

1. Burn that book The Rules. I know a lot of women say the way to catch a man is to play games. Not me. I believe if you use Game-Playing Bait, you lure in Game-Playing Fish.
2. Get out there. You must search willy nilly for a real Mr Right. Go to parties, museums, the park. Remember: You won't meet men sitting alone in your apartment. Well, except pizza delivery men.
3. Stop thinking: "If only I had thinner thighs!" and start working on getting a stronger gut. We must all learn to trust our guts and get out of a bad relationship fast. I now what I speaketh of. My motto: It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho the rest of your life.
4. Never go to bed angry at your man (and miss the make-up sex? No way!)
5. Most importantly, don't always be blaming yourself for every bad date and every bad relationship. Remember: It's not always your fault. After all what's not to love and desire about you? You're totally adorable and gorgeous just as you are! In fact, you've been looking especially thin lately. Just ask that doll of a guy...

Like I said, awesome present! teehee!