Internet dating

Because I thought I might put out the "single and looking" energy to the Universe I've been peeking back into the world of internet dating and geez it makes me laugh. Call me petty and anally retentive but there's a few things about user profiles that drive me absolutely bonkers. So much so I'm thinking of writing The Tormented Girl's Guide to Internet Dating Dos and Don'ts for you folks out there so I'll keep you posted if I pull my finger out and do it. The first five will read along the lines of:


1. Don't post a cropped photo of you with the arm of a girl around you - tres tacky.

2. Proof read, proof read, proof read and then for good measure do a spellcheck/Dictionary check on words you're not sure of. Call me WordNerd but for example: I was reading a profile today where the gentleman states: "I am becoming a bit Disenfranchised with the whole internet thing." Disenfranchised eh? Disenfranchised as in "Deprived of the rights of citizenship especially the right to vote" hmmmmm. I believe disheartened, disappointed, dispirited would have been better choices.

The correct usage of a fancy word would be something like this fella: "Pride myself on being gentleman (somewhat of an anachronism to many these days!)" Terrific! 10/10 excellent usage.

3. Don't start off your profile along the lines of "It's so hard to write about yourself" or "How do you sell yourself in 500 words" blah blah blah borrrrrrring!

4. Don't type your profile in all caps. NO ONE LIKES TO BE SHOUTED AT!

5. For farks sake, inject a bit of personality into your profile. I know that not everyone is a wordsmith but geez have a bit of originality. Going through profiles only to read the same thing over and over again... borrrrrring! Most of the profiles sound the same and then there will be a couple of real standout original posts which sparkle with personality. They'll be the ones receiving contact from me... if I decide to do anything but look at this stage. I'm a little bit over blind dates at the moment so we'll see eh.

ahhhh endless amusement. Hoity toity bitch ain't I? :]

I was reading one of my old "manifest diaries" the other day and in one entry I have all the qualities I manifested in a man. I listed absolutely everything I wanted in 'my man'. It's funny how things change. Instead of the 45 item list of qualities I look for in a man it's down to these things:

tall
excellent/wicked/cheeky sense of humour
likes music and animals
honest
trustworthy

Everything else I can deal with. It's a bit like the movie Singles where she wants a man that says bless you when she sneezes. I'm not sure if it's just because I'm older or I'm just not so finicky. Either way I'm patient and I know he's out there... okay maybe I'm not patient. Yeah that's a big lie, wish he'd bloody well hurry up and come into my life!