Dirty 30

I'm officially feeling old and single. Not upset but old and single. What brings this on you ask? For starters my mother is playing with match maker me. This has only started happening since I've turned 30. First I started getting the subtle comments of "I can't wait for you to have my grandchildren so that I can spoil them" and "You know I'll always be available to babysit for you whenever you need me". OK that I can deal with.

This year she's turning it up a notch. Last night the fam went out to dinner. I was sitting opposite dear old mama and I could see something was up. She gets this look in her eye when she's scheming something and kinda gets ants in her pants, squirming around, itching to tell me something. She leans over the table and says "One of my clients wants to know if he can have your phone number".

HUH??? what the...?

Where did that come from????

So I ask her who he is and how he knows me and wants my number. [meanwhile rolling my eyes at her]

"oh we were just talking about him being single and how hard it is for him to find a nice person and I mentioned that my daughter was having the same problem and he asked whether he could speak to you"

hmmmmmmmmm, how convenient.

the fact that my Mum has spoken to me about this guy already and subtly mentioned that she thought he would be nice for me ["he has a nice energy about him"] was not lost on me... funny that he now asks for my number.

So I told her I would think about it. And I am. So allow me to weigh up the pros and cons:

Pros:
He's taller than me [+1]
He's single and looking [+1]
He hasn't seen a recent photo of me [+1]
It could be the universe giving me a sign and I should trust my Mum [+1]

cons:
He's one of my mothers clients [-1]
He hasn't seen a recent photo of me [-1]
"He has nice energy about him" could translate to he's as ugly as dogshit and will make you want to barf (I know what my Mum's taste is like) [-1]
He could be some boring dumbass that I could meet and work that out in 10 seconds flat and then have to spend some time with him not to mention the impact on my Mum's business relationship with him. Why doesn't she keep photos of her clients? [-1]

total score = 0 hmmmmmm. More contemplation required methinks.

Item number two: my Dad. Dear old Dad is usually pretty non commenty. Until recently that is. He usually leaves me alone to live my life as I like [not that I usually give him the full gorey details]. Hell I've been outta home since I was 18 so I'm pretty up there when it comes to taking care of myself. But this week he's a) jumped down my throat demanding to know all the juicy details when I've mentioned a man's name in reference to a recommendation he made, and that man was my plumber. b) given me the "Dad lecture" not once but twice in relation to 1) getting new tyres for my are and 2) washing my bathrobe of all things. geez louise... I'll have a grotty bathrobe if I bloodywell want to dammit....

Item number three: I'm sitting here watching "How I Met Your Mother" and it's the New Years Eve episode. I'm realising now that I've only kissed someone on New Years Eve twice... and when I say that I mean someone I was either going out with or was interested in. Twice. Funnily enough, both times were at the same place - a particular camping spot on the south coast. The first time was with a guy I was interested in but we never quite got our act together. It was more of an embarassed fumbling than a pash. We smooched and that was it, no fireworks, no nothing. The following year at the same campsite but I was with my boyfriend and a friend of his and we saw the year in with a bang, say no more. It's funny how timing has worked out that I've managed to be single for most of my adult NYEs. Sad, so sad. hate that shit and lets not get me started on that most hated *cough* anniversary Valentines Day. That's a whole other story for another time.

I know that both parental units have the best in mind for me but their comments and intentions just feel like little poisonous barbs that only serve to sting and chafe.

Yeah, yeah I'm building a bridge... and getting over it :)