out of the way peck

If there's one more slow ass car doing 60km in an 80km zone in the FAST lane then I swear I'm going to pull out some dodgem car moves and bash that car right the fuck into the slow lane where it belongs. What is it with the people in this town? If you aren't AT LEAST going to do the speed limit then get your slow ass way over there in the slow lane and let my little red racer spit dust on your windscreen.

Last time I checked the rule was "keep left unless overtaking" and you toodling along in MY lane is just not acceptable. Is that so hard to comprehend?? And don't you forget to use your goddamn indicator while you're at it. It's called an indicator to give us mere plebs an indication of what the fuck you're doing because clearly you have no idea and the crystal ball is a little bit cloudy today so I'm unable to devine where the fuck you're going.

mkay I feel better now....

One question for today... being that I am a single girl I like to see what rejects losers potential fellas are out there so I'm a member of one of those internet dating sites. I've long ago lost any inclination to go on a blind date with any of these bozos lads as I've had one blind date too many but I'm an optimist and who knows eh?

Anyhoo perusing this week's slop offerings makes me wonder - why is it that these idiots guys think that they will attract anything but scorn by posting a photo of themselves with some token woman cut out of the picture? By showing just a hint of womanhood do they think that it makes them look vaguely less desperate now that they've actually been standing next to a woman at some stage in their life?? That would be an instant PASS from this single girl.

Head trip drama

Today's torment: If I wasn't such a damn chicken I could have come up with something really witty to say today when faced with Benji, my future husband and father of my future child.

But oooh nooo

What do I come up with after spending the last half an hour drooling perving on the smooth skin of his neck and the muscles of his back straining at his crisp business shirt, fantasizing about what those muscles would feel like stripped naked with my finger nails in them? "Great presentation." No buttslaps and high fives all round or "Geez you get some good toys to play with, can I play sometime?" or "here's my phone number call me tonight, you know you want to" no no just mumbling and eyes downcast, shuffling out the room. Dammit, it's his fault, that man turns me into a dry mouthed sweaty schoolgirl.

*sigh*

guess it's off to bed with my porn collection