stark raving mad

bit of a brief post for you today as there's too much going on and my head can't cope.



In the past few days I:

• Have initiated a code of conduct breach investigation on someone
• Told an erotic story to someone and bloody hell it was good
  
• Bought some really slutty shoes and damn I like them [pics to follow]
  
• Lost 4 kilos, mainly from stress but I'm still happy with that
• Howled my absolute eyes out from some stinging barbs from someone whose opinion I respect [he did mean them in good faith but woah bad timing]
  
• Almost told the truth about something I've been keeping secret for good reasons
• Made my boss extremely happy and angry at the same time
  
• Have been deputised Senior Sargent heheheh
• anxiously awaiting the next exciting chapter in WLFG's life... *sigh* oh the perils of living vicariously....
  

More fabulous in the life o me later. Just wanted to pop in and say Hi

THAT word!!!!!!!!!

aven't you guys found that word for me yet??? I haven't either although I have another example for you. Just to recap, the word I'm looking for describes a situation where someone makes a joke that isn't a joke. It's kinda the truth veiled as a joke. And the competition still stands - the most outstanding, most fantastic poem ever created in your honour if you can tell me what this bloody word is.

Today's example: One of the people who wants to fix me was today, again, talking about me needing to be helped. When we were talking about it yesterday he said that I wasn't open to being helped and in a way I'm not but lets not go there just yet. Anyway today we were talking about being open to help and he says "I'm happy to help you I just don't think you're mature enough to learn". My quiet response of "I see" garnered a "Just kidding" from him. He then proceeded to joke that he could hear my blood vessels popping through the phone blah blah. Little did he know that after that comment I was about two seconds away from saying Fuck You and hanging up. But I think he's only half kidding about it, that in a small way he really does think that. It's joking to take the sting out of what the joker really thinks. Now go find that word!!

I'll talk more about his keen observations tomorrow, right now I have a fabulous feast to whip up and snacky things to prepare. Bon Appetit!

Pet project

Seems I'm everyone's pet project this week. Everyone seems to want to fix me. For the first half of the week it's felt like constant criticism and a massive attack and today I had an admission from one of the critics that he wants to fix me. Interesting. I'm not quite sure how to take that. The positive side says "You can always use a helping hand". The negative side says "Am I that pathetic that people think I'm unable to help myself?". Both are probably true. Everyone's a critic and in the end, it's up to me.

If only I knew what I wanted to do I'd feel better. It sucks feeling so lost so maybe I do need some guidance.

But to leave you on a positive note - another great night planned tomorrow. Some long lost friends are coming over for dinner so I'm sure there'll be an update on the Erotic Fridge Poetry. The menu for tomorrow - Bonne Maman Cherry Jam & Gorgonzola on crispy crackers for snacky things before dinner. Twice baked goats cheeese souffle with roast tomatoes in balsamic vinegar and crispy green salad. For dessert, lemon gelato. All of my favourite things to cook and to eat. Can't wait!

I'm aworkin on the railroad

Had a total chick flick moment today. Watched Under the Tuscan Sun and there were a coupla bits that just killed me. The one in particular that really had me howling was the very sexy Raoul Bova (Marchello in the movie) was telling Frances the following:

"Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come. "

Crack out the tissues. That slayed me and I've been thinking about it all afternoon. Such a poignant metaphor. It's time to rebuild those tracks for me. A while ago I dynamited them to smithereens. Then went back and mattocked up each individual piece into a thousand more. Then splashed a bit of petrol around and set those pieces alight for good measure.

But how to rebuild, what is step one? Is there a handbook for this? Where's the Project Manager? I think at least being open to the idea of a new relationship is step one and I'm there, so the railroad ties are in. For the rails? I don't know what is next. I don't even know if I'm ready for rails whatever they may be. I think I am... but if I don't even know what they are and what is next am I really? I think I'm just going to have to leave it up to the Universe to tell me what the next step is. And of course now I'm impatient for a sign, typical me ;}

Dirty 30

I'm officially feeling old and single. Not upset but old and single. What brings this on you ask? For starters my mother is playing with match maker me. This has only started happening since I've turned 30. First I started getting the subtle comments of "I can't wait for you to have my grandchildren so that I can spoil them" and "You know I'll always be available to babysit for you whenever you need me". OK that I can deal with.

This year she's turning it up a notch. Last night the fam went out to dinner. I was sitting opposite dear old mama and I could see something was up. She gets this look in her eye when she's scheming something and kinda gets ants in her pants, squirming around, itching to tell me something. She leans over the table and says "One of my clients wants to know if he can have your phone number".

HUH??? what the...?

Where did that come from????

So I ask her who he is and how he knows me and wants my number. [meanwhile rolling my eyes at her]

"oh we were just talking about him being single and how hard it is for him to find a nice person and I mentioned that my daughter was having the same problem and he asked whether he could speak to you"

hmmmmmmmmm, how convenient.

the fact that my Mum has spoken to me about this guy already and subtly mentioned that she thought he would be nice for me ["he has a nice energy about him"] was not lost on me... funny that he now asks for my number.

So I told her I would think about it. And I am. So allow me to weigh up the pros and cons:

Pros:
He's taller than me [+1]
He's single and looking [+1]
He hasn't seen a recent photo of me [+1]
It could be the universe giving me a sign and I should trust my Mum [+1]

cons:
He's one of my mothers clients [-1]
He hasn't seen a recent photo of me [-1]
"He has nice energy about him" could translate to he's as ugly as dogshit and will make you want to barf (I know what my Mum's taste is like) [-1]
He could be some boring dumbass that I could meet and work that out in 10 seconds flat and then have to spend some time with him not to mention the impact on my Mum's business relationship with him. Why doesn't she keep photos of her clients? [-1]

total score = 0 hmmmmmm. More contemplation required methinks.

Item number two: my Dad. Dear old Dad is usually pretty non commenty. Until recently that is. He usually leaves me alone to live my life as I like [not that I usually give him the full gorey details]. Hell I've been outta home since I was 18 so I'm pretty up there when it comes to taking care of myself. But this week he's a) jumped down my throat demanding to know all the juicy details when I've mentioned a man's name in reference to a recommendation he made, and that man was my plumber. b) given me the "Dad lecture" not once but twice in relation to 1) getting new tyres for my are and 2) washing my bathrobe of all things. geez louise... I'll have a grotty bathrobe if I bloodywell want to dammit....

Item number three: I'm sitting here watching "How I Met Your Mother" and it's the New Years Eve episode. I'm realising now that I've only kissed someone on New Years Eve twice... and when I say that I mean someone I was either going out with or was interested in. Twice. Funnily enough, both times were at the same place - a particular camping spot on the south coast. The first time was with a guy I was interested in but we never quite got our act together. It was more of an embarassed fumbling than a pash. We smooched and that was it, no fireworks, no nothing. The following year at the same campsite but I was with my boyfriend and a friend of his and we saw the year in with a bang, say no more. It's funny how timing has worked out that I've managed to be single for most of my adult NYEs. Sad, so sad. hate that shit and lets not get me started on that most hated *cough* anniversary Valentines Day. That's a whole other story for another time.

I know that both parental units have the best in mind for me but their comments and intentions just feel like little poisonous barbs that only serve to sting and chafe.

Yeah, yeah I'm building a bridge... and getting over it :)

Oh the torment

What a weird week I'm having. The job front has been oh so super hectic that I've been working 8 hr + days with no respite and today I'm having one of those days, can't stop thinking about man flesh. I keep picturing every man I meet naked and exposed. Yes I'm obsessed and I can firmly blame it on someone else. I was sent this series of pretty army men fleshy shots and it's got my mind in a whirl. uhhhh fleshy men....

I've had some major wins this week and that's ALWAYS good. I'm quite impressing myself at how well I've handled certain situations. I think that if I had been presented with the same situation a year or two ago that it would have gone horribly wrong and yet I can't put my finger on why and how I've handled it differently. Just less... agro.


Had the most awesome dinner last night. Caught up with 3 friends I haven't seen in positively ages and had a good ole gossip and wine induced bitch and moan. And let me just say - you MUST try WLFG's Bonne Maman Cherry preserves with Gorgonzola on crispy crackers. SO good it inspired fridge poetry. Was such a laugh last night. I haven't laughed like that in a long time so it felt so good. So good to be with friends that I've missed, so good to feel so close to people that I love and so good to feel so content.









And finally today my eliptical trainer was delivered so watch out world - I'm taking you by storm! It all starts today... mkay maybe tomorrow as today is Friday night right now but it certainly starts tomorrow. No excuses! No butts... eh hem!! ;}