fer farks sake

I've burnt myself three times in the last week, twice on the oven rack, once on the iron... geez. Conclusion - ironing is bad for your health!

anyhoo... allow me to update you with all the fascinating things that have been happening in my life because I realise it's been a while since my last post...

First of all, and I guess most importantly of all I've changed work teams - this means that I've lost half my minions (which is a good thing as it's the most time and stress intensive minions that I've lost) and I now have my own personal bulldog for a boss. He's complicated but better than the last. This doesn't mean that I'm going to stay any longer than I'd planned but just means that the remaining time is less painful. Still madly applying for jobs to get the hell out off the sinking ship.

Secondly I'm back out there, y'know on the market. I've gone on two dates, both with unsuitable guys but it's the thought that counts right? the fact that I'm out there right? Additionally Asshole1, the one that really killed me is kinda back in my life. BUT and I capitalise that, BUT it's as my friend because I've kinda had a revelation that it's not him that I've got the shits at but it's myself. Ultimately all he can give me is either an apology or an admission and I want neither from him. He's all of a sudden, wanted to come over twice so far (and is wrangling for a third time) but hasn't pulled his usual shit so dunno what the go is there. I was expecting him to pull something last time but he didn't so...? I was going to use it as an excuse to have "the conversation" with him but realised the above. That basically it's me that I have the shits with, not him. That I'm angry at myself for fooling myself and falling for his bullshit and glossing over those alarmbells that rang instead of asking questions when I should of. Fuck it's only taken me 10+ years to realise that... better late than never huh? ;} Just sucks that we've clicked right back into old times like nothing has ever happened and get on so well. Problem is that I can never EVER trust him again despite how charming and fucking hot he is. I'd never be able to be comfortable with him, never be able to relax. Which makes me wonder what he wants from me. It's not his style to just, all of a sudden, be friends. And this is how it all started between us in the first place, just hanging out, chattin bout music... So we'll see, he's got some DVDs of mine and wants to return them sometime this week so maybe it's just friends, maybe it's not. I'll keep ya posted.

But that being said I've decided that within 2 years I'm having a baby. So I'm looking for breeders and this whole date thing, hasn't helped. Just have to keep lookin without having that reeking cologne of desperation on me...

And for those of you who haven't seen Wolf Creek... go and watch it now... maybe... finally got around to watching it this weekend and holy fuck it really doesn't pull any punches... wowsers.

thats enough for now, enjoy.