The Torments of a Single Girl

Mental anguish, torture and pent up horny feelings... oh my!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

the perfect storm

There was a massive storm at my place last night and a friend of mine sent me the below pics taken looking at the storm as it was approaching. Pretty damn nifty camera work. I've got some footage of the marble sized hailstones raining down but I have no idea how to imbed video on here (so if anyone knows please share)


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Sunday, February 25, 2007

well colour me surprised...

Sniffy got the sack! In the ten years that I've worked for my company I've only heard or two other people getting the sack and both we police escorted off the premises because they'd committed corporate crimes. Sniffy wasn't by the way. Guess she'd ruffled one too many feathers and got the boot. I do know the exact circumstances but I don't want to be Dooced. So sadly this will be my last Sniffy post. Shame because there was so much material there!

Had a bit of a hideous experiance this weekend and my eyes haven't quite recovered yet. I keep seeing this floating image that was burned into my retinas... There I was rifling through my Mum's video and DVD collection for something interesting to watch when BAM!! I find her porn. ARGH not good. Hey I have nothing against porn and have some myself but this is my Mum's porn... eeuuuwwwww and my eyes, my eyes!!! it burrrrrrrns!! It's like thinking about your parents having sex... it's just not right.

I swear I must have been a Libra in a past life. I just can't make up my mind on what I'm doing with my life. I keep coming up with more and more options and not making any decisions or taking any steps in any direction. Just driving myself crazy as usual. I'm half tempted to just flip a coin but like any coin flip decision you don't like the outcome and give it 2 out of 3. Then 3 out of 5 etc etc etc. Bottom line is I don't know what to do and I don't know how to make this decision and I keep endlessly weighing up the pros and cons. And then bitching to you about it ;} heheh

think I need some retail therapy....

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Friday, February 16, 2007

really free as a bird

YEEESS!! it was a Sniffy free day today and OMG I couldn't do any work because I was soooo relaxed! scary really...

I know I made a promise to myself this year that I'd stop the "woe is me" posts but indulge me just this twice. Got some pretty bad news. Looks like the love of my life might have some sort of life threatening illness (no not Benji). M'Lord the most handsomest of all beasts, had to have 3 teeth out recently and had elevated kidney and liver blood levels so he's getting retested next week to see what's going on. In a way I'm in absolute disbelief that it's so close in coming after the whole debacle with Mai Pudi (who had leukemic bowel problems). But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's nothing. It's just going to shatter me if I have to put him down as well. But lets not go there just yet eh or you'll make me start crying.

You know ever since Lance's comment about moving to Canada I've had a Singles moment (one of my fave movies). I don't have to be here, I can just leave. One of the houses on my block recently sold for 3 times what I paid for mine. I could just go anywhere I want to whether it's Melbourne or Canada. I don't need to be here. I did my sums and even if I don't sell my house I can rent it out and it pays for itself. I can go anywhere, I'm not really stuck at all. Just in my mind I'm stuck. I had a whole bunch of flashbacks to my past last night. Flashbacks to when I was travelling around Europe, free as a bird. If only I could make a decision (and find a good job)......

Okay, feeling sorry for myself over with now, as you were people ;}

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentines HAHA!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The second most expensive Valentines ever......

Geez louise how do I do it eh? At least this one didn't cost me thousands of dollars like the last expensive one but it did cost me $176.88 to be exact. Not that I don't mind spending money if it's worth it (or if I'm buying shoes). I'd love to spend that sort of money on my man and spoil him rotten with something nice, if I had one. But don't stress, it's nothing as traumatic this year. My bathroom tap decided to have a cardiac and started spewing water uncontrollably, it was only dripping a little before so it was due for the full cardiac arrest. Had to call in my plumber to plug it up and so I've got some spanky new taps now.

I was thinking on the way home that I haven't really explained about Benji. I had a good chat to a friend this afternoon about him (and her tormented past) and it made me realise I haven't told you the full story. I'm not up for it tonight but I will soon I promise.

hope you had a great Valentines day

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Pop Quiz

It's your first day at a new job. Do you:

a) lay low and suss out your colleagues to see what everyone is like before unleashing your full personality on the unsuspecting suckers them
b) or do you just wait an hour
c) snatch, and I mean snatch, stationery from your new colleague's desk without asking then fail to return said stationery after using it forcing your new colleague to ask for it back when they need it.
d) call your new colleagues "honey" or "darling" 1 hour after meeting them

Within the first week of your new job , what is not appropriate:

a) asking a question, not allowing the respondant to answer as you're talking all over them then crack the shits when you don't like the answer
b) do a) to the big boss and fail to notice his growing irritation and the steam coming out of his ears
c) snap at one of your new colleagues for trying to help you out, telling them that you're somewhat of an expert in that particular software package when they can see that you're obviously not and fucking it up.
d) borrow one of your new colleague's (a colleague who has germ/hygiene issues) pen at a meeting because you forgot yours and then proceed to chew and slobber all over it before returning it.

You work in a small quiet office with 3 other people, is it appropriate to:

a) fart, call your new colleague over for a smell and then run out of the office cackling
b) snap at your new colleagues, telling them that they're wrong and proceed to tell them at length why they're wrong when clearly you're wrong and just making an ass out of yourself.
c) sniff repeatedly and not use a tissue.

You're hired because the rest of the team is overloaded with work, do you:

a) constantly distract your new colleagues with inane chitchat when they're clearly trying to work
b) constantly distract your new colleagues by singing tunelessly to the music on your headphones (crappy country music)
c) constantly distract your new colleagues by talking to yourself providing your colleagues with a running commentry of what you're doing (not that they care and just wish you'd get on with it)

Answers:
all of the above

Say hello to Sniffy, the new girl in my office... sigh - it's going to be a long 4 and a half months... And trust me, you'll be hearing about it. A week and a half into her contract and she's already providing me with the above gems....

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Friday, February 09, 2007

no words to say, no words to convey

Oh mate it's been a looong week. This week I've wanted to just run away from everything and join the circus. I'm not really sure why I've been so sensitive to every single little thing that's going on in my life right now but I just haven't been able to cope with anything this week. To start from the top:

You'll notice that it's February. And I haven't moved to Melbourne. On Wednesday when that thought struck me I kinda shrugged my shoulders and thought "meh whatever". Then Thursday struck. Thursday afternoon I was this far away from quitting my job. I came home crying from sheer frustration and irritation. I hopped on the net and applied for 6 jobs in melbourne. I was ready to go. In a way I think it's for the wrong reasons. I want to go because I'm so sick of everything that's going on with my job - just the same old shit that never changes. But at the same time there are big changes ahead over the next 4 months and it could mean really big things for me. But at the same time I couldn't be bothered with all of the crap that's going to come along with it. Apart from all the crap we've got a new girl in for 5 months and she's driving me crazy already.

I want to go because the situation with R is getting really hard to take. I can't write about it because he's asked me not to but at the same time I think bugger you buddy, you're not going to know. Pity I'm a woman of my word. But don't get me wrong, nothing untoward.

I'm so sick of being single. Everything I do lately reminds me of my singleton status. I should be rejoicing in my fabulous freeness and all I wish for is for is entanglements. Someone tries to break into my car, feel incredibly lonely. Get email from friend who has found excellent most fantabulous guy, feel incredibly lonely. Have a fight with the body corporate, feel incredibly lonely. Stoopid tap is leaking and I don't know how to fix it, feel incredibly lonely. Read fantabulous blog of fantastic girl who has found soul mate, feel incredibly lonely. Watch the return of Lost, feel incredibly lonely. Workmates organise couples dinner, feel incredibly lonely. Newly married friend mentions the word husband fiftyzillion times, feel incredibly lonely. Watch chickflick, feel incredibly lonely, cry. You can't die of loneliness can you?? right?? what am I doing wrong dammit.

I know that in the grand scheme of things my life is pretty good but I want more. I need more. Is that selfish? I just want to shake things up and start afresh instead of feeling like I'm stuck here stagnating. Well I'll guess we'll see if anything eventuates from my job applications eh. Never know what the universe has planned.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

My new desktop wallpaper


Kinda speaks for itself doesn't it. I just love the expression on the left owl.

Monday, February 05, 2007

I love the smell of carrion in the morning...

The drought is really playing havoc with the local wildlife. Every morning there's a fresh dead roo on the way to work. They're coming further into town to get at the green grass. This morning's hit was pretty mushed and mangled. Nothing like the whiff of carrion in the morning to start your day off right.

It was Mae West who said "I'd rather be looked over than overlooked" and sister I hear ya. I used to be looked over a lot when I was thinner and it used to really bother me but now I feel like waving my arms in the air and yelling "over here!! I'm over here!!". I work with two very beautiful girls and I'm just invisible whenever I'm with them. This morning as I'm walking to the caf with one of them, we passed one of the team leaders that I work with every day walking towards us and she got a Good Morning and I didn't even rate a glance. That's happened to me a couple times over the last coupla weeks and I almost feel like I need to pinch myself to see if I'm really there or not. It's really starting to annoy me but I think I'm just impatient to get this fat suit off and release my inner hottie again.

I had a massage and adjustment with my natural therapist yesterday and apart from a whole bunch of knots in my shoulders and shoulder blades she says to me "You're leaking a lot of energy from the heart". Ain't that the truth.

You'll have to excuse me if I'm cranky today. I'm just so frustrated with everything and I feel like screaming. I want so much more in my life and I just have no idea how to put it in there. I've caught up with 2 people I haven't seen in years and have listened to the tales of what they've been up to and pathetically I have nothing to tell. I've worken up, gone to work, come home and gone to sleep. Lather rinse repeat. The only notable changes to this routine has been that I've renovated my kitchen and quit smoking but the quit smoking isn't something that I tell because not a lot of people know I smoked. And I'm not talking about cigarettes here. Wake up, go to work, come home go to bed. There's got to be more than this. Surely? I don't even know where to start, where to look or who to ask on how to put more into it so I get more out of it. Pathetic really. Cranky, cranky, cranky.