peech inspediments

It was a weird day for odd conversations yesterday...

Was sitting in the caf with Lars having a cawfee when along strolls my gorgeous future husband Benji. We talk about worky stuff and he leaves... I chuckle gleefuly to myself for a bit when he comes back and says "You've been fingered..." at which point he blushes and stammers a bit and then says "er I mean you've had the finger pointed at you for blah de blah". oh buddy don't I wish I'd been fingered by you mwaaahahahaaaaa! So cute to see him blush teehee!

And something else for your amusement:

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/

fuckin hilarious and I hope he wins.

I should have been a plumber

My plumber came over this morning to fix the sink and he's got a little apprentice boy with him today. He's just said to 'prentice boy "run quickly and get me a nipple... and an easy hooker". Now of course I'm thinking 'hell that's a little early in the morning for THAT ain't it?' but it's actually plumbing equipment. Wonder what else they've got in their bag of tricks....?

I swear this song was written for me

The Hollow
A Perfect Circle - Mer de Noms

run, desire, run
a sexual being
run him like a blade
to and through the heart, no conscience
one motive: cater to the hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacify this hunger that's so cruel

libido throw
dominoes of indiscretions down
falling all around in cycles, in circles
constantly consuming, conquering, devour.

'cause its time to bring the fire down
throttle all this indiscretion
long enough to edify
and permanently fill this hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying
feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying



If this isn't part of your CD collection, make it so NOW.

Had a really yearny type of day today which has sparked the listening to this song over and over. Spoke to Benji half a dozen times today and I just want him bad. I wish I wasn't such a chicken. eheheh this is the guy I want to marry and father my child, I'd better let him know that soon don't you think? Damn you ovulating ovaries ;)

a funny thing happened on the way

Sorry for the lack of postage but I've been bathing in the vat of chocolatey goodness that was Easter. 5 glorious days off spent... well spent doing jack shit. and he was good har har. To tell the truth I haven't been so tormented these last two weeks. My life seems to be in a small calm ebb. Very odd as usually it's super chaotic so it's a nice change of pace. Although I did play a little game of shopping trolley flirting with a tall cutie at the supermarket last night. I love that game. He smiles, you smile back. move on to the next isle. Oh look there he is again. He smiles again, you smile again and grab something on the same shelf, smile at each other again. Repeat for the next 6 isles until you meet in the dairy section. Swap phone numbers and hey presto it's home for sex. with my fingers heheh. He was nice but not that nice.

Happy Easter!

Hope the Easter bunny brings you what you want!

Bottoms up

A recent conversation between me and a flirty fella at work who is fun to play with. I should explain for those not in the country - Bunnings is a mega hardware store and FF and I had previously been talking about home made bondage equipment and a Pacer is a mechanical pencil. As with most email conversations you have to read from the bottom up.


-----Original Message-----
From: flirty fella
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 2:07 PM
To: Tormented Girl
Subject: RE: Good Morning

LOL

Me too.

-----Original Message-----
From: Tormented Girl
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 2:05
To: flirty fella
Subject: RE: Good Morning

I love hardware

-----Original Message-----
From: flirty fella
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 2:05 PM
To: Tormented Girl
Subject: RE: Good Morning

I resemble that.

-----Original Message-----
From: Tormented Girl
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 1:36
To: flirty fella
Subject: RE: Good Morning

went to Bunnings at lunch, does that give you more lead

-----Original Message-----
From: flirty fella
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 1:23 PM
To: Tormented Girl
Subject: RE: Good Morning

Thanks for the lead and stuff.

FF came to visit and collected some lead for his pencil amongst much insinnuendo

-----Original Message-----
From: Tormented Girl
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 10:59
To: flirty fella
Subject: RE: Good Morning

wouldn't want to disappoint you

-----Original Message-----
From: flirty fella
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 10:46 AM
To: Tormented Girl
Subject: RE: Good Morning

I knew you would say that. Lol..

-----Original Message-----
From: Tormented Girl
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 9:54
To: flirty fella
Subject: RE: Good Morning

need a bit of lead in your pencil eh?

yes I can help you

-----Original Message-----
From: flirty fella
Sent: Wednesday, 12 April 2006 9:35 AM
To: Tormented Girl
Subject: Good Morning

Do u have any of those little leads that you put into pacers?

It wasn't sposed to be like this, honest!

I never intended this blog to be a total pervfest chocked full of naked beefcake. It was going to be a witty expose [with the french squiggly over the e] of the turmoils of a single girl in a couples world but maybe tomorrow eh? I couldn't resist this post. Look I blame Kippy, she's the one who sent me the below so you can blame her.

5 reasons why I am an alcoholic:

(That's not his nuts in the blender is it?)

(Is that a strategically placed leaf or do my eyes deceive me?)

(Oh waiter a cock tail please)

(Hey ladies check out my big silver penis pump)

(What is with this dudes armpit? freaky!)

Get out the icecubes...

Well it's official. I'm not as pure as the driven snow. I know you find that shocking... good thing you're sitting down eh? According to a Purity Test I'm only 28% pure which means that I'm 72% nasty. well duh! There's 500 questions and with each page, the score just kept getting lower and lower, I'm so proud of myself! Just thought I'd share - me being the caring and sharing gal that I am.

Feel free to share your score with me, I promise I won't tell.

Off to let the gimp out of the cage so that he can dust off the bondage rack and whips. Toodles!

Lower.... lower...

I went and saw She's the Man with a girly friend of mine, Kip. BIG mistake. No not because the movie was bad - I honestly couldn't tell you whether it was bad or good because this guy kept taking his shirt off and that's all I could see! I swear he spent most of the movie half naked. Not that I'm complaining mind you... but oh those pants just kept riding lower and lower and Kip and I were REALLY hoping that he'd get dacked somewhere in the movie but I guess it is rated PG. Besides that little delectable piece of flesh there is half naked man flesh galore! If you go and watch this movie bring a bib for the drool. Oh baaaad movie, baaaad.

We both walked out of there kinda flushed in the face and I'm tellin ya if she had the man parts required I would have jumped her in the car park. Kip is also a single gal and

Oh wait I found another pic...


woah you could do your washing on those stomachs! anyway what was I saying again? uhhhhh oh yeah that's right... Kippy being single... she's been single for a lot longer than I have but it doesn't seem to bother her as much as it does me. She doesn't see all the subtle reminders that I do and she's relatively happy in her singledom. That was until after tonight's movie. Silly girl has gone to ring her ex. oh well guess you gotta get it where you can.

mmmmm sweet dreams

Cocoa moo, you know you want me

Laffed my ass off at this... I was at a friend's house for dinner last night and we made some alcoholic hot chocolate and this was the back of the packet. So funny I had to get them to scan it for me to share with you.... geez they're all out to get me! :) mmm chocolatey goodness... yes master, I want you.

You'll probably have to click it to be able to read the writing properly but I'm sure you're smart enough to work that out.

Just shake what your mama gave you

Great. Just great. Now the music industry is out to torture me. There's this song out at the moment by TV Rock featuring Seany B, true to it's lyrics “this track’s designed to make you cream” No shit. Perhaps I'm just a sucker for a clever marketing scam or maybe I'm just ovulating but damn everytime I hear that song I just want to have sex with the nearest available man/object. The fact that he's a little bit of a hottie doesn't hurt either.

Damn you radio, I hate you. Stop teasing me. Out the window you go!