Disenfranchised har har

"Thanks for your email. you look nice in the pic. Will email another time. bit busy at work"

This is not the response I expected from someone I sent an internet dating email to. The site sent me a free stamp for my birthday and I wasn't gonna use it but thought what the heck, it's free, get the energy out there, you never know blah blah blah. So I sent a really cool email, well obviously it wasn't so cool if it garnered that sort of response. Considering the fact that the stamp is valid for one response only... yep, I got the brush. Anyhoo... moving right along...

And so I've been consoling myself on eBay. Behold my latest shoe fetish exorcisms purchases:






























That top pair are a little unlike me but for some reason I just love them... and ahhh Demonias... how I love thee, let me count the ways. And let me just add that I'm 1.83m tall and I love high heels - just because I tower over everyone doesn't worry me ;)

I'm driving myself crazy seesawing with the whole Melbourne thing again. One day it's yes, the next it's no. The realisation that February is only 2 months away and that technically I should be moving in 2 months puts a new spin on the yes/no battle. I just don't know what to do. There's some other stuff I wish I could talk to you about, I wish that I could articulate the things that are going on in my head. I don't even understand them which is why I can't talk about it. Maybe later eh?

ex catharsis

Something weird is going on. I've bumped into/spoken with 3 of the top 5 ex boyfriends over the last 3 weeks or so. VERY odd goings on I tells ya. There was one I mentioned in the previous post, I forgot to mention that an ex I haven't spoken to in about 2 years sent me a happy birthday email and on the weekend I bumped into the band boyfriend I spoke about ages ago. I'm taking this as a sign to clear out the old feelings and let go of that old, tired baggage to make way for the new guy. No, no there's no actual guy in my life just yet but I can feel him waiting in the wings. Good thing I'm a patient wench...

On a completely different topic, I've just had the best apple of my entire life. An icy cold Granny Smith. I cannot even begin to describe it's sour sweetness but I sincerely suggest that you go and get yourself one now if you haven't had one in a while. Too bloody good.

Woah.

I just bumped into my ex at the supermarket. Sounds cliche huh but woah has it spun me out. I like to do my shopping late at night because there's no crowds and I can walk around in peace. I'd just about finished up and was strolling down the frozen foods aisle and there was a guy perusing the icecreams in front of me. I looked at him and thought hmmm he's a bit cute and walked past him and he says hello. I say hello back out of politeness and then take a second look and woah it's Michael.

He looked really good, a bit scruffy but it suited him. He even looked taller than I remember him. We swapped the usual 'so what are you doing now' small talk and he's doing just about the same stuff. As am I for that matter. Sadly, in the 5 years since we've been together the most exciting changes in my life have been that I've upgraded my car and phone and my cat died and I got a new one. Sad sad sad.

Sadder still is that the first person I wanted to tell about this was you.

Anyway we went through the checkout together talking about old times - he asked me whether I still had the tape of his snoring. Cracked me up! I'd totally forgotten about it and I still have it somewhere. He was the absolute worst snorer in the world. Like sleep apnea bad. Talk about sawing wood. He didn't believe me so I taped him one night when he fell asleep on the couch. I woke him up because I was giggling so hard sticking my recorder in his face while he was fast asleep. He believed me after that. It's funny but I actually got used to his snoring to the point where I couldn't sleep without it. Got over that pretty quickly after we broke up though.

So we walked out of the mini mall, out to the carpark. We're by my car when he pulls me close and kisses me the most magical kiss and tells me that we were so good together and should still be together. Let me pull a WLFG here and go NAH not really. We walked out to the carpark, said it was good to see eachother and that we should catch up over a coffee sometime and that was it. I wish that he was worth a second chance and was my long lost love and worth my time but he's really not. We were alone together for a short time and we got what needed out of each other. It was a very odd relationship which worked for us at the time and I could never go back but it was still good to see him. Cathartic. [see the magic of being 32 is working already]

mmmm the new season of The OC is back on... you'll have to excuse me while I go drool over delish Volchok

Hoppy Birdy Two Ewes

So a certain anniversary crept up on me last week. But did I get to enjoy it? oh no! I got some sort of gastro bug on the day... what did this mean to me apart from the obvious gastroenterological nightmare you ask? Well first of all, and most importantly I should add, this meant NO BIRTHDAY CAKE!!! That's just wrong! AND my favourite birthday cake at that - hazelnut cake topped with strawberries, raspberries and cream. And no birthday dinner... well we did go out to dinner and I puked twice but hey it's the thought that counts right? My sweet cat slept by my bed all night, too cute as he normally sleeps on the couch.

Spookily, not only was it my birdy on (Australian) 9/11 (so no one can ever forget it) but it was also the 9th year and 11th month, to the day, that I've worked for my company. One more month and I hit the 10 year mark. Woah.

The funny thing about being sick on my birthday is that it feels like a fresh start to the year. I woke up on Saturday after a feverish night feeling really charged, and actually different. Is that possible? I spent most of the afternoon cleaning the house and doing all the little things that I've been procrastinating on, getting my ducks in a row. I'm really looking forward to seeing what this year has in store for me, hopefully lots of goodies. I'm not a strong believer in numerology but this year is a 5 for me and that's a number that fits with me perfectly. Last year was a 4, obviously, and 4 is my unlucky number so I'm happy to put it behind me and move on to bigger and better things this year. I actually had to say to myself, out loud, I'm 32. I'm 32. I don't really have a problem with being 32, in fact I was so grateful to put my 20s behind me when I turned 30. Saying goodbye to the last 5 tormented years was absolutely uplifting. Anyway onwards and upwards!

Some of the presents highlights - a new balloon pump and balloons to further my balloon animal making skills [one of my hidden talents - I promptly made everyone in the office the animal of their choice, heaps of fun!]. The biggest, softest, most cuddliest indigo bathrobe you could ever imagine. I'm going to need a search party everytime I put it on and then they'll have to drag me out kicking and screaming.

When I was surfing for a cool pic for this entry I stumbled on the below which made me absolutely cack myself. ahhh I'm a sick puppy :]

Internet dating

Because I thought I might put out the "single and looking" energy to the Universe I've been peeking back into the world of internet dating and geez it makes me laugh. Call me petty and anally retentive but there's a few things about user profiles that drive me absolutely bonkers. So much so I'm thinking of writing The Tormented Girl's Guide to Internet Dating Dos and Don'ts for you folks out there so I'll keep you posted if I pull my finger out and do it. The first five will read along the lines of:


1. Don't post a cropped photo of you with the arm of a girl around you - tres tacky.

2. Proof read, proof read, proof read and then for good measure do a spellcheck/Dictionary check on words you're not sure of. Call me WordNerd but for example: I was reading a profile today where the gentleman states: "I am becoming a bit Disenfranchised with the whole internet thing." Disenfranchised eh? Disenfranchised as in "Deprived of the rights of citizenship especially the right to vote" hmmmmm. I believe disheartened, disappointed, dispirited would have been better choices.

The correct usage of a fancy word would be something like this fella: "Pride myself on being gentleman (somewhat of an anachronism to many these days!)" Terrific! 10/10 excellent usage.

3. Don't start off your profile along the lines of "It's so hard to write about yourself" or "How do you sell yourself in 500 words" blah blah blah borrrrrrring!

4. Don't type your profile in all caps. NO ONE LIKES TO BE SHOUTED AT!

5. For farks sake, inject a bit of personality into your profile. I know that not everyone is a wordsmith but geez have a bit of originality. Going through profiles only to read the same thing over and over again... borrrrrring! Most of the profiles sound the same and then there will be a couple of real standout original posts which sparkle with personality. They'll be the ones receiving contact from me... if I decide to do anything but look at this stage. I'm a little bit over blind dates at the moment so we'll see eh.

ahhhh endless amusement. Hoity toity bitch ain't I? :]

I was reading one of my old "manifest diaries" the other day and in one entry I have all the qualities I manifested in a man. I listed absolutely everything I wanted in 'my man'. It's funny how things change. Instead of the 45 item list of qualities I look for in a man it's down to these things:

tall
excellent/wicked/cheeky sense of humour
likes music and animals
honest
trustworthy

Everything else I can deal with. It's a bit like the movie Singles where she wants a man that says bless you when she sneezes. I'm not sure if it's just because I'm older or I'm just not so finicky. Either way I'm patient and I know he's out there... okay maybe I'm not patient. Yeah that's a big lie, wish he'd bloody well hurry up and come into my life!